Bored Then Cleavage

PROLOGUE
Sitting in a media talk for five bored, desperate journalists by three bored, make-work press officers.

The Woman:
The briefing finished fast but not fast enough and it was turgid, except for the woman.

Nothing in their words really. Just reams of crap about how schools are getting better despite all evidence to the contrary.

But in the interests of Truth, what happened was; she wore a tight green jumper with plunging neckline. Cropped above the waistline of her tight black trousers.

A press officer from the Department for Education and Skills. Pretty with pulled back brown hair, long in a pony tail.

That jumper, opal, dipping sharply in a long v-neck.

Such a contrast to the two men in suits – one with too many bad teeth, the other an on-going confidence crisis – who followed her along.

She leaned forward as she spoke, exposed smooth white curved skin.

For the sake of my self-respect and her personal dignity, I looked her carefully in the eye. But in the interests of journalism and noting all the facts, I made all necessary observations. Purely professional.

The other lobby reporters present were less circumspect, letches all. A blow to feminism. Some of them are shameless, really. I was ashamed to know what they were thinking. I think she knew too. I’m sure she did.

I tried to concentrate, and managed enough to ask how I could explain away to the great unwashed the fact teachers are being laid off; and timetables cut; and classes made bigger; and etc.

She gave me some nice enough lines. A young press officer, not wanting to get out of her depth, perhaps only partly understanding there is NO depth in the Lobby. One reporter, bored, got up and walked away.

She said, to paraphrase slightly: “no crisis, all media lies,” before adding in a slight contradiction: “there are some ‘issues’ [that is; problems, in Whitehall speak] but we are working to stop them being ‘issues’ this year.”

Which cleared that up. She was young – mid to late 20s – and slim but curvy.

Epilogue:
At the end of the briefing I smiled at her, she smiled back, and that little piece of human contact cheered a day immeasurably. A day which had started with feelings of utter disgust at the whole world, from God on down.